THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU…I have been so beyond blessed these past couple of weeks by the generosity and sacrifice of so many people. I have had people care for me, clean my house, cut my lawn, grocery shop, pray over me, wash and fold laundry, bring meals, take care of my children, and send sweet notes of encouragement. If you are one of those people, thank you so very much!! God has literally gone above and beyond and met every single need through all of you.
I had my first round of chemo on May 26, 2016. It was extremely rough as I had a terrible side effect from one of the medications. I was given Ativan for anxiety as one of the premeds before starting chemo, which caused for a bad day…a very, bad day. I had 2 chemo drugs, Adriamycin and Cytoxan. I will continue to have these 2 for the next 3 rounds and then I will switch to another chemo drug. I started not feeling very well when I finished chemo and by the time I got home, I was just out of it. Over the next several hours I went into a comatose state and had to be rushed to the ER at Emory via ambulance. It was discovered later that day that my body was not reacting very well to the Ativan. Needless to say, I will not be taking that again!! I have been feeling much better this week…just in time to start this all over again. Ha! I will go in on Thursday for Round 2…my chemo schedule is every two weeks.
Overall I have been doing well until this morning. My hair has begun shedding a bit and I don’t know that I am ready to face this next step. I was told I will lose my hair anywhere between days 15-20. Today is day 12. Everything is set and ready for me as far as my wig. However, I am just not ready to let go of that part of me. It was such an emotional struggle for me with Millie. Those same feelings began to surface this morning as I was pulling hair from my hairbrush and my head. Yes, I know it’s just hair and yes, I know it will grow back…but I’m going to be bald. My kids will have to see their mommy without hair and I don’t know how they will handle that emotionally…how will I handle that emotionally. I am trying to protect them from so many things. They are so tender and have already been through this once.
The one lesson I feel that God is trying to teach me so far is trust. When I put my focus on the situation, when I become fearful…then the problem has now consumed me and I no longer am keeping my thoughts on Him. It says to God that I doubt His promises in His word. What does that say about my heart when I pray or sing songs about how I trust Him? That’s a conflict. I can’t say or sing one thing and turn around the next minute and consume myself with all these fears. Some days are better than others and some days I am continually surrendering my fears and doubts to Him. He can be trusted and I know that to be true in my life. I so want to believe and not doubt. I am reminded daily that I am human and I desperately need Him every second of my day.
“Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Thank you for praying for me!! I’m trusting and believing that God has an amazing plan in all of this.
xoxo…April
You are an incredible woman of faith and someone I admire. I’m continuously praying for you and the children. You are SUPERMOM and an amazing person. May God provide you with a peace beyond our understanding. Just remember Philippians 4:13. That’s my go to when I begin to worry.
I’m continuing to pray for you and your sweet kids!! God is good all the time!!
Love,
Julie
Praying for you my sweet friend! I love you and am as close as the phone.
You and your family are in my daily prayers. It’s OK to feel the things you are feeling, you are only human and having to face something that isn’t an easy situation. Love you my friend and please don’t hesitate to ask others for help including me.
“He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength.
Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall:
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings of eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”
Isaiah 41:29-31
Hey April, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I can’t imagine what you are going through right now. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Love ya! – Jessica (Daniel’s mom)
I love you girl! My heart goes out to you!!
Hugs and prayers!!!
If you need someone to talk too, just call me. There are days I need someone to talk to too!!
8504432346
I love you, April.
Yes, we are human. Though a totally different situation, I find myself doing the same things while facing one day at a time without my hubby! It scares me but then I stop, look up, & say, I know “YOU” have me! God is so good but the devil continues to try & cause me to think differently. Praying everyday for you sweet, beautiful lady. Praying for your babies as well. God must think a lot of us!! Love you!
Continued prayers sweet lady! Love you so very much!!
April, you are an amazing pillar of strength. I could only hope to carry 1/100th of the grace and faith you have going through tough times. We are all here for you! Love you!
Oh April?. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. You never cease to amaze me though. You’ve already walked this ugly path twice in your life and a third time. I think it’s only natural to have doubts and questions. However you always turn those around and focus on Him! That speaks volumes about you. He definitely has a plan for you! Hugs and prayers are being sent your way right now?
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry you are having to go through this . If there is anything you need please call me. My cell is 404-285-8126.
April, you are one of the strongest people I know. You are such an inspiration! You and the kids are in my thoughts and prayers.
April, I am lifting you up daily and I love you!!!!!
I am a friend of your sister in-law Jessica. I also am a cancer survivor. I was so moved and encouraged by your post. Isaiah 41:10 is one of my favorite scriptures. I will be praying for you and your family daily. ?
April, your Mother and I have known each other a long time. We were in the Riverdale Church….I have prayed for you and will continue…You are in God’s Loving Arms and His Strength will see you through…Love and Prayers…..