So it’s done…all done…that horrible chemo that I’ve been taking for the past several months…I finally finished it on September 8th!!!!!! I made it all the way through! There were so many days I didn’t think I would make it, especially those last couple of rounds. I was to the point that I didn’t want to do another round…it was tough…oh so tough!!
So….since I’ve been off chemo, I have been resting and trying to get my strength back for the next path of this journey…surgery. On Wednesday, October 5th, I will be having a double mastectomy since I have the BRCA2 gene. Today was my last day at work for the next 4-6 weeks as I will be out on medical leave. I am having a really hard time leaving my students. However, I am trying to remind myself that they will be well taken care of by the amazing teachers I work with. 😉
FEAR…it has been creeping into my thoughts a lot this past week. It’s fear of the unknown. I’ve never had surgery before except c-sections. This is different…body parts will be lost. I will be completely sedated for several hours and I don’t know how things will be when I wake up. This has kept me up at night. I have prayed…and cried…and prayed…and cried. I know that He will give me grace and strength to get through this next step. He reminds me that I am to cast ALL of my cares, burdens, worries on HIM because He cares about me. He cares….He cares that I am fearful…He cares that I am scared…He cares that I am anxious. I love that He cares and He will give me peace that will consume my heart and mind. This is my constant prayer…Jesus I lay this burden at your feet and in return, please flood my heart and mind with your peace.
I have several prayer requests:
- Please pray for my mind to be stayed on Him and not my circumstances
- Please pray for my children during this time that they will not become anxious or worry about me
- Pray for wisdom and guidance for the surgeon
- Pray for a quick recovery and that there would not be any complications
I love Isaiah 41:10 so much and God has used it a lot in my life. It reminds me that God watches over me and is taking care of me. I just need to T R U S T…He is with me…He will strengthen me…He will uphold me…He is MY GOD!!
Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.
It becomes a continuous giving of my deepest fears to Him and in exchange knowing that HE IS ABLE to carry that burden for me and give me the strength I need because He is for ME!!! I love this song that reminds me that He is able and all things can be overcome in His name…even all of my fears!!
xoxo ~ April